Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Hi friends, family, and blog-o-sphere. Just a little warning on the title of this piece as I am about to engage in hate-speech against minorities in this country. I am going to do this by reminding everyone about why our soldiers are in Iraq and Afghanistan. It is because we don't want this happening in America ever again. I realize it takes a little bit of faith, and that is tough to do when the other party is in power, but in the long run everything will work out for the best.

I mean this isn't like we are giving nuclear technology and fuel to the North Koreans.


“I Hate Bush because his policies are diametrically opposed to my own views.”

This is patently false. Bush’s policies are diametrically opposed to two different factions within the United States: Fiscal Conservatives and Social Liberals. Let’s recount the legislation.

War on Terror

Invasion of Afghanistan

War In Iraq

These issues are the big bogeymen of the left because the Democratic Party failed to lead an opposition to these measures. Liberals aren’t really angry that Bush supported these measures, which would be like being angry that a zebra has black and white stripes. I mean, what did they expect, that a REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT would NOT support a war against foreign forces that had attacked American soil? The Party of REAGAN??? The Party of LINCOLN??? I guess they expected him to pull a Clinton and wait for the UN to LET us say mean things to our attackers…

Imagine Slick Willy addressing the UN, “Osama Bin Laden, you are a very very very bad man. (Loud Applause) If you don’t stop being bad, we might have to censure you, in a very public manner. (Standing Ovation).” All of that while his taxpayer-funded mistress awaits more cigar games in his ‘Secret Service’ limo, complete with stocked mini-bar.

I guess actually standing up to aggression, actively seeking to root it out and destroy it, is anathema to the Democrats. Their European socialism and Marxist Elitism blinds them to the obviousness of the need to defend America. I won’t bother you with the Left’s mindless socio-economic chatter about that root causes of terrorism, I believe going and blowing these people out of the sides of mountains is the American way. There was a time that Democrats did too, but that was pre-Lyndon Johnson.

Prescription Drug Benefit

AIDS Benefit for Africa

Increased Domestic Spending during Wartime

These issues are my big bogeymen, or the bogeymen of the right, because Congressional Republicans failed to reign in this negligent activity. I personally opposed all of these legislative items to no avail, simply because the Republicans went along with Bush. I understand it is bad to oppose your party leader and President of the United States during wartime, but these are issues that are not central to his War on Terror (if attached at all) and can easily be stopped in Congress. I have a reason to be angry with Bush for this stuff after all, he is a REPUBLICAN. What is with this domestic spending, government handout stuff that has created the enormous Big Government that Republicans have been opposed to for years. When Reagan was President, a Democratic Congress refused his ‘Draconian’ (read fair) reductions in government spending on domestic policy, while enacting his military spending increases, creating the enormous budget deficits that Democrats have cared about only when out of power. While Clinton was President, a Republican Congress opposed his liberal agenda and passed responsible government budgets that Clinton then took gratuitous credit for while molesting interns. What happened to my responsible Republican Congress? I blame post impeachment purges of rank and file members.

So why the vitriol? Why the anger? Why the spitting angry mobs of college students?

Bush v. Gore

It all comes back to this. The idea that but for the Supreme Court, Gore would be President. That 9/11 wouldn’t have happened, there’d be no war in Iraq, there’d be no war in Afghanistan, and there’d be a liberal paradise in the United States but for the Supreme Court. Reality, of course, is a far harsher light. Whoever sat in the President’s chair would have been just as blind-sided by 9/11 just as Taft would have been by Pearl Harbor. The foreign policy decisions of the past 40 years had established that chain of events, and given Gore’s predilection to rely on the UN, might have emboldened additional attacks.

Business as Usual

My congratulations to Senator Reid, for maintaining the status quo in the Senate, or hog house if you will…[]

Reid Wins Funding for Homeland Security Project

June 20, 2005

$4 Million Will Help Keep Nevadans Safe from Hazardous Materials

Washington, D.C. -- Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) has secured $4 million in the national budget for an important Homeland Security project designed to protect Americans from hazardous materials.

The money will help build the Hazmat Emergency Response Operations and Information Center (HEROIC) in Southern Nevada. HEROIC will track the 800,000 daily truck shipments of hazardous materials in America, and coordinate emergency responses in case of an accidental spill or a terrorist attack.

"This is such a valuable addition to our Homeland Security," said Reid. "Right now we have dangerous materials traveling across our country with no contingency plans for an emergency. HEROIC will give us the information we need to manage a chemical spill and keep people safe."

HEROIC is a public-private partnership of the federal government, the University of Nevada Las Vegas, and QUALCOMM Incorporated. The program will use satellite technology to track hazardous waste shipments as they travel around the U.S…

Reid won $2 million for HEROIC in last year's budget. He set aside $4 million in this year's Homeland Security Appropriations Bill to continue developing the project. The Homeland Security Appropriations Bill has passed a Senate Committee, and now goes before the full Senate for approval.

Well Mr. Reid did a good job getting his snout deep in that pork. Nothing like attaching pork amendments to Homeland Security legislation to ensure that we will never win the war on Terror, but we might win the war on Democracy in this country. A little bit more debt and we’ll have to make concessions to Bill Gates so he can buy up our debt and establish a dork-ocracy. Like all other despotic governments, he’ll round up the journalists and teachers first…. Hey, maybe a dork-ocracy is just what we need.

In conclusion, I remind my readers of the wise words of a Congressman and a Presidential Candidate, “This Congress, in a non-partisan way, will work as hard as humanly possible to make sure that our people have the safety they demand and deserve, and that terror is defeated completely and finally.”

-Dick Gephardt, September 11th, 2001.

Non-partisan way? How long did that last until, November of 2001? I guess it doesn't matter if America's prestige is damaged or we lose a war, after all, we are the most powerful nation in the world, and having Democrats in charge of it is more important than the lives of American soldiers. Sorry about that, just channeling Dick Durbin again.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Why not me?

Congressman Chris Cox, who I have had the pleasure of voting for at least twice, has been promoted out of Congress into the SEC. I guess he has gotten bored with Tom DeLay's strong-arm tactics and the Senate Republican's whining/sniveling. ("We only have a majority in the Senate, 5 more Republicans and we can do what we want... I mean, 12 more.") This just in, the Green Party is courting McCain for 2008, I think he's got the nomination sewed up.

It occurred to me that my name is almost certainly not on the ballot, and I began to wonder why not. I mean, I think I have all the qualifications that you need. What else could I possibly need?

I'm not saying I have driven off of a bridge while drunk and left behind a woman (not my wife) in the car only for her to die hours later, but then, I wouldn't be running for a Senate seat either. Speaking of, when are Japan and Germany going to start paying for their national defense again Barbara Boxer?

To begin with, I am a veteran of the Armed Forces. It seems to work just fine for many of our elected officials. I mean, I even volunteered during a time of war (take that George W. Bush)! I must admit I volunteered for a position in the Navy, which I thought was an extremely safe position, until the USS Cole was bombed. Which reminds me, you damned Islamic Extremists are going to burn if you are ever so lucky as to be within rifle range of me. Hey, I just remembered I was given an honorable discharge! (Take that John Kerry!)

My father is a wealthy attorney too! I know he will tell anyone within hearing distance of his imminent strangling poverty, but I assure you he is doing fine. If only he could become a judge, then it would be a short wait before he could appoint me to legislative office by judicial fiat. All it takes is a liberal interpretation of Bush v. Gore and I am in! (At least, that is what tells me.)

I have a college education. I have never taken drugs as long as you exclude tobacco, anything I was prescribed, and alcohol, and I know I do! I have been a complete failure at at least one occupation and a reluctant success in another! I have only a few credit card connections to adult websites that I am sure I can discredit!

What is most important though, is my position on the issues. Hey! You! Yeah the California voter! Quit laughing, I'm quite serious.

Immigration. Illegal that is. Quite opposed to it. I am rather surprised by the reluctance of Republicans to come down hard on this issue. My personal stance is increasing the funding/staffing of the border patrol to the levels authorized (already) by Congress. In addition (that means 'do this too'), we need to establish a real Peace Corps, something that provides training and compensation to volunteers (read the Minutemen, Seniors who will be in Arizona anyway, and home schooled children) who agree to patrol sections of the border and inform the Border Patrol about illegal activities. I think the DEA and the AMF have more than adequate funding to do this. In fact, why don't we place those departments under Homeland Security, and replace the Homeland Security chief with some Anti-Illegal Alien Zealot. After all, I'd rather Mexico solve its own problems instead of exporting them to our nation. Plus, the Randy Weaver's of this nation really don't need snipers killing their wives, sons and dogs. [See first Appendix for more ranting on Illegal Immigration]

Social Security. Here's a thought. Everyone who has yet to pay Social Security taxes is hereby exempt from ever paying into the system or receiving benefits from it. I call this the 'Cold Turkey' Law. Everyone else will just have to choose from privatization, taxation, or reduction in benefits to make sure those above us on the pyramid get their money. Those few who will be unable to receive benefits (Read those born after 1970 who have paid into the system) are probably screwed. Then again, haven't we known this was coming anyway? Oh, and don't you dare bemoan the poor disabled people who will no longer receive benefits. All those people who have had a disability that lasted at least 12 months, could have killed them, and prevented them from performing any job they had ever been trained for can all get the help you need from religious institutions or your family. Trust me, it is a lot easier than hiring an attorney and going to war with the Federal government to get a check that is less than half of what you could have earned on a street corner in San Francisco anyway.

Environment. I included this in between two important issues so that you'll forget my position on this after you read the next one. I am in favor of greater drilling for oil wherever we have it. I am exhausted with the idea of supporting regimes in the Middle East, South America, and Mexico, when all they do is give us reasons to bomb them. Seriously! Who doesn't support the carpet-bombing of oil producing nations when it costs $65 to fill up my SUV??? Did you know that oil rigs (the ones in the ocean high school grads) support over 30,000 different forms of marine life with a rich habitat? Not to mention the heat radiated by an active oil rig further supports marine life. Those oil rigs, which people in Santa Barbara hate in light of their gratuitous wealth and snobbery, are home to new species of marine life. Lets build more of them. Lets build a whole lot more of them. Caribou herds have grown enormously since the Alaskan pipeline was installed. Lets drill for more oil there too. The number one factor reducing oil drilling in this nation is cost and government interference. Lets remove government interference since the Saudi's have already removed cost as a factor.

Abortion. Wow, I can already feel the flames off of the replies for this stance. I support a Constitutional Amendment that would refuse the decision in Roe v. Wade and place the decision of Abortion before state legislatures with a few restrictions. No third trimester abortions and no 'partial birth' abortions except in cases of Rape, Incest and the Life of the Mother. I realize this is a radical stance for a Republican in California, but I don't have to run against a Democrat for this seat, so I can get CRAZY with the social conservatism! I also don't think it would be a big deal, and I think it is important to remove this issue from all national politics. This issue is beneath the Federal Legislatures and the Presidency. It eliminates important national decisions such as Foreign Policy, Trade, Defense, and the Budget. I mean seriously, the last few elections have all been determined by who can get the most College drug addicts/radical Christians to the polls. Is that what we want running our country?

War on Terror. Unsurprisingly, my stance is in favor of the War on Terror, however, not the way you think. I am in favor of winning the War on Terror, even at the expense of political correctness. [Note: author is about to invoke the name of FDR for the first time in 15 years] Franklin Delano Roosevelt was correct when he interned the Japanese. His only mistake, and frankly every President's until Ronald Reagan, was to not immediately compensate them. I think it is correct to expect Americans who resemble the hijackers to be examined closely by security personnel. After all, we already expect World War II veterans that scaled the cliffs of Pointe du Hoc to submit to the indignity of dropping their pants before the gate which led to the plane that was to take them to Las Vegas for a Memorial Day celebration of their sacrifice, but is now merely the portal through which moron college students with fake ID's gape at the octogenarian’s underwear. Yes that's right, I am in favor of WINNING the War on Terror. Not fighting it in a manner that France would approve of. I think if this nation is going to vote for war, it needs to be prepared to fight one.

Iraq. I disagree with the President on this one. Iraq is not a part of the War on Terror, although it is a useful tool against terror. The war on Iraq is directly related to Saddam Hussein's violation of a cease-fire agreement he signed after the first Gulf War. I realize that after President Bill Clinton essentially ceased all enforcement of that cease fire agreement, except when he was busy getting caught with his joystick in an intern, which might have led Saddam Hussein and the World to think that we had forgiven Iraq's commitment to the cease fire. After all, Bill Clinton had forgiven North Korea's pursuit of nuclear weapons by giving them Nuclear Reactors and Rocket Technology. It is unsurprising that the UN, pocket's full of Iraqi oil bribes, were unwilling to vote for a second Iraq war when W. demanded it due to the violations of Cease Fire agreements. Which is why Bush dreamed up the War on Terror connection. Thus, my disagreement with Bush is really just semantics, you say War on Terror, and I say Violation of Cease Fire. Same thing.

Finally, my greatest qualification for Congressman of Orange County is my rampant poverty and alcoholism. If I don't win this seat I will be reduced to begging for cash on the same street corner as Gray Davis, hoping to garner enough money from liberals to afford a bottle of ripple tonight.

Wait, I just realized something. My marginal military service, abuse of drugs, sketchy family history, and complete lack of cash only qualifies me to be a Senator, not a Representative. Not like my positions on issues hadn't already disqualified me. When was the last time you heard a politician say what you thought?

Appendix 1

I am not done with this issue either. Three points. Democrats (or progressives if you prefer) are only establishing a second society within the United States. By encouraging illegal immigration either through a refusal to enforce immigration laws or by providing amnesty to illegal aliens you create a new slave society. These people come the United States with the understanding that so long as they don’t bring attention to themselves they can live and prosper here. Unfortunately, that leaves them extremely vulnerable to criminal manipulation. Imagine an entire society of people who do not speak English, know nothing of the Laws which protect them, and who are fearful of Law Enforcement deporting them or jailing them. These people are completely defenseless against extortion and abuse. Not only can employers (the boogeyman of all Democrats unless the employer in question is the Federal Government) take advantage of these people, but so could lawless elements of American and Mexican society. Republicans (or conservatives as necessary) are only enabling the destruction of the innovation America is famous for. There is nothing like a cheap and unlimited labor force to discourage innovation and technology in industry. Why research new and intriguing techniques in fruit harvesting or golf club manufacture when we can just hire a bunch of illegals? Why become a nation of technicians when we can be a nation of supervisors and slaves. (Oops, I meant undocumented workers, not slaves; there is a difference that doesn’t quite come to me at the moment. Oh that’s right! Slaves are looked on with pity and regret in this society and illegals are just getting what they deserve.) Moderates (read Conservatives who want to run for President but know the party won’t support them) are only supporting the government of a hostile and corrupt regime. Why do we allow Mexico to dictate policy to our government? Illegal immigrants in this nation send the bulk of their earnings back to Mexico, making their labor an export second in value only to oil for Mexico. This money supports the very government that pushes these people out of their nation in the first place. The corrupt wealthy families that control everything (including Vincente “a rebel until I am in power” Fox) and prevent all possibility of opportunity in their nation. For progressives and conservatives, imagine a nation where all the money was divided by the Kennedy’s and the Bush’s. (No, America isn’t like that… yet.) Not to mention the fact that Dem’s and Rep’s treat these people like their mother-in-law. You know what I mean, the wife acts like she is doing Mom a favor and the husband acts like the Mother-in-Law is trespassing. If you were the illegal alien, how would you feel about America? It is almost like we have all put “Illegals stay off the grass” signs in our yards, except that the illegals are the ones who cut them. [Author’s note: illegals do push people out of industries because of their willingness to accept lower wages (capitalism) and the difficulty of working with them without a knowledge of Spanish. Don’t forget the infamy of working with illegal when you are a citizen, which explains why high school kids don’t mow the lawn anymore.] Want more? I dare you to reply to this post with a positive illegal alien message. I double dog dare you to.